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Trigger Warning: This article contains descriptions of homemade violence
Radio presenter Kyle Sandilands has spoken of growing up in a household where “terrible” domestic violence was common.
He recounted some of the disturbing memories that stay with him “like it happened half an hour ago.”
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WATCH THE VIDEO ABOVE: Kyle Sandilands opens up about a traumatic past with domestic violence.
And he revealed that he will talk to the Prime Minister Anthony Albanese on Thursday for a critique of the new Helping women leave an abusive partner payment.
Earlier this week, the 52-year-old highlighted the need for a safe haven for women, outlining the complexities of practical support for women escaping violence and recounting the experiences of his formative years.
“I grew up in this situation,” Sandilands told listeners of The Kyle & Jackie O Show on Monday.
“To this day, if (there’s) a young mother like, say, with two kids, who’s having a tummy tuck on a regular basis, she has limited options. She is in financial difficulty because of the offender.
“She has the children, she has to leave everything she knows to get out of this horrific situation.
“I think the first thing we need to do is make the shelter a place where a mother can pick up her kids at three in the morning, call someone, be picked up and taken away and be safe.”
“I think that’s where it should start because it’s something we can do immediately.”
Sandilands’ comments come as the national conversation about domestic and family violence grows.
On Wednesday, the national cabinet met to discuss gender-based violence in Australia, and Albanese unveiled a new $5,000 payment for women affected by domestic violence.
On Thursday, the radio host criticized a potential flaw in the logistics of the payment, noting that many women in domestic violence relationships lack the financial independence to access that kind of support.
“I’m going to call the Prime Minister today … and say, look, what if the wife has a joint bank account and that’s all there is? For example, you don’t want to put $5,000 in a joint bank account that the person has access to,” Sandilands said on his radio program Thursday.
“Governments can sometimes try to do the right thing.
“But at the end of the day, the money has to go to the victim, not sit in some bank account somewhere.”
He detailed some of the harrowing scenes he witnessed as a young boy, which informed his comments on the government’s support package.
“You have to remember that I was a young child living in a domestic violence situation with my little brother and my mother. My father would start. It was terrible,” he said.
“He grabbed my mother by her hair with one hand, dragged her out of the bathroom and back and dragged her kicking and screaming down the hall in front of two small children.
“And I can still see it like it happened half an hour ago.”
An escape from the unforgettable
Sandilands also outlined some of the imaginary tactics he and his younger brother would use as children in their attempts to escape their brutal reality.
“I was very young. And my brother, we’d go into my room and I’d create a fantasy land in my room with the matchbox carts and they’d scream and things would break,” Sandilands said.
“My little brother is four years younger. He’d hear some vase break and get scared, and I’d be like, “Oh, that’s thunder,” and I’d just try to make it part of the game we were playing.
Sandilands said he reconciled with his father before he died and no longer likes to discuss the traumatic events that were once a regular occurrence.
“And I don’t like bringing it up because my dad is dead now and we’ve worked out all the issues we had and he’s apologized,” he said.
“But we still had to live with it.
“These things, they do not leave small minds. They’re in your head forever.”
If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual abuse, homemade or domestic violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au.
In an emergency call 000.Advice and counseling for men concerned about the use of domestic violence: Men’s Referral Service1300 766 491.
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